You know those moments when you have a wake up call? That was this past weekend. I realized just how bad my hormones were affecting my anxious mind even on my healing journey. My brain and my heart realized there were three steps I could take to help calm my mind.
Over the weekend I had a really close friend come visit. It was spontaneous and I had no idea how badly it was needed. Both of our husbands were having a guy’s weekend, so it was just us girls. What came about was laughter, confessions, and healing. Throughout this whole adrenal diagnosis, I didn’t realize just how much I was keeping bottled up. Now I know hormone issues aren’t an extreme condition because ultimately we will be able to regulate it. But to me and to y’all that are dealing with these issues it is a really BIG deal.
Every day brings about something new, either a new emotion, a new symptom, or a new chance for a mental break down because of my hormones.
A week and a half ago, my medication was altered, reducing my Cortef intake. Based on my symptoms of weight gain, severe cystic acne, off the charts irritability, and not starting my menstrual cycle, Dr. Incredible asked me to go off Cortef. I didn’t take my dosages for the rest of the day. The next morning came about, everything was normal, then 9:30 hit (I would usually have had a dose at 12 pm and 7 am). I had wave upon wave of nauseous, my head felt like something was living in there and it wanted to escape, tremors, and extreme dizziness. I immediately contacted Dr. Incredible, told him all my symptoms and was advised to go back on my Cortef dosage. It made me realize even though I have had tremendous growth, there is still a long road ahead.
One of the most frustrating parts is the mood swings. I should be happy about them. That might be a sign that my Estrogen is coming back and my hormones are fixing themselves. However, I really wish it wasn’t such a dramatic process. I’m not trying to win an Academy Award here.
“And the winner for the best actress in a hormone leading role goes to….”
Any little thing can set me off. Here we go, either it’s a full on cry fest or an Exorcist remake. It’s hard for me to deal with, as well as my loved ones around me. All I can do is apologize, and try to give them fair warning. As much as I try, my hormones have full control.
What I am beyond thankful for is that I don’t feel like I’m constantly on the edge. My mind can be calm! When you’ve been living with such an anxious mind for a really long time, you forget what that feeling of peace is supposed to be like. I find myself being able to take in deep breaths, appreciate what’s around me, let it go, and move on so much more easily. It’s such a feeling of relief.
The sex drive is still taking its time. Dr. Incredible said that it’s the first thing to go and the last thing to come back… ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Everything is a work in process and things are changing. I looked at a picture from this weekend and realized my eyebrows had grown back!!!! I look at myself in the mirror everyday, and I missed it. That’ s when it hit me, you have to mark your accomplishments!
So my point of this post about hormones is you have to set small goals. You have to mark those goals, whether by writing them down or by taking pictures. Update yourself weekly, or daily. Take victory in those goals! Treat yourself, and know that you are a Unicorn!
Find yourself a hormone buddy. It has to be someone you trust completely and feel like you can share anything with. You will need this! You will need at least one person, if you can get a group good for you! That person will help you through the ups and downs, and will help you get outside of your head. Don’t live in your head with this, it will eat you up.
Take up a hobby or get back to doing what you love in your spare time. Our lives are hectic, there’s hardly anytime to have an enjoyable shower. Set aside a minimum of 15 minutes a day to do something just for you. Whether it’s writing, reading a book, sewing, painting, cooking, whatever. Make your heart happy and your mind calm.
You are not alone with this!!
Unitl next time, Stay well y’all!