Not Tonight

For about two years now my body decided it wanted to attack me from the inside out. It wanted to do it secretly and silently with only subtle things popping up here and there. Eventually the little things started to rule over the big things and they took over my life. Thoughts in my head were racing…

“I’m going crazy,” “Oh you’re just getting older,” “Everyone goes through sex slumps,” “Adult acne is normal… right,” “It’s just one anxiety attack no big deal,” “Something is wrong but no one will believe me.”

I was fighting a battle that only my husband was privy too for a little over a year. Then I came clean to my family, at first they didn’t think what I was telling them was really happening or that my married life was causing me so much stress because they never knew me to be like that (insert eye roll)… Then I began to tell them everything that I go through on a weekly basis starting back in college. They told me I had to see someone right away, well I had been “seeing someone” about my issues and each doctor wanted to bottle it up in pill bottles with an overall diagnosis of anxiety and depression since my estrogen and testosterone would come back normal.

That didn’t explain why I was loosing my eyebrows, or why my skin decided to breakout all over my body in painful cysts, or why my stomach hated me so much it would be days before I would get relief, or why I could go and go and then crash so hard I was beyond exhausted, or why I could fall asleep anywhere even while driving, and the big issue of why I didn’t care about sex at alllllllllllllll not even Fifty Shades or Brad Pitt could help me. And not to mention the fact I was NOT depressed, even through all this I wasn’t depressed I was just so tired!!

At that moment I began my search for a naturopathic doctor, if I was going to do this it was going to be holistically.

Then a God thing happened! An old family friend came into town for a few nights and they wanted to meet for dinner. The whole time something kept telling me to talk to her! So in order to quiet the voice I opened up, in that moment I knew it was God telling me this is going to help you. She had been experiencing almost the exact same things!!!!! She had found a naturopathic doctor that specialized in hormones over a year ago and he saved her life. I could not believe it, not only did I have someone who understood everything but someone that could help me as well!! I cried, and made an appointment immediately.

My appointment was Wednesday and it was nothing short of a miracle. I was talking to someone who didn’t belittle me, or try to put my symptoms into one box. He knew what I was going through and he knew how to fix it! The initial diagnosis: my adrenal system was shot and my cortisol was pretty much depleted. I had to do full panel blood work in the AM and PM so the official diagnosis will come when the results are analyzed.

Fortunately, I don’t have to wait for the results to start my healing process. The first thing he needs me to do is to get my gut right! The gut is my power house and it’s working at minimal capacity right now. He also stated my skin is more than likely coming from my stomach!!!

He talked with me for over an hour, and everything just made so much sense. My system had been struggling since I started college. The little things of needing my sunglasses even when it was cloudy out, or that my night vision just went over night, and the big one that I always joked about that I could tan under flourescent lights were all signals that my adrenal system was in distress. But who knew?!?! This isn’t something I read about all the time nor something that I had any clue even existed.

A whole new world has just opened up and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even though I had to buy an extra large pill holder for the week just to keep things straight, I gladly remember to take my vitamins because it means that my gut is healing and I have someone in my corner that’s going to fix this! Now I know that “not tonight” is not going to last forever and I will feel like a woman again.

***Now all I ask is if you are experiencing symptoms similar to mine, please don’t self-diagnosis yourself. Please consult with a doctor, whether naturopathic or not. I will continue to post about my journey because I believe I have found something to talk about that could be of help to others, but I am not a medical professional so my path is not necessarily your path.***


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9 thoughts on “Not Tonight

  1. Wow. This sounds like the beginning of something wonderful. I am so glad you found someone to help you and do it with out pills (I don’t consider vitamins and herbs pills) I love taking my vitamins at night and can see the wonderful effects they have on my body. Love you and praying this is the answer to your inner peace.

  2. Thanks Leslie! I think I finally found my blog voice, as we were driving home I thought there are probably a lot of people out there lost and it’s not something you see a lot about. And you inspired me! Now just have to get the guts to make it socially public 🙂

  3. My dear friend. How brave of you to decide to talk about this. Wish I could’ve been there for you through your struggles 😕. You know I’m only a phone call away!! Hoping and praying you have found the solution and you are on the road to feeling better. Love you! 😘

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